Good Enough?

I often wonder whether I’m good enough—to be a writer, to make jewelry, to get into heaven—well, no, I know I’m not good enough to get into heaven. I count on Jesus’ sacrifice to usher me into the pearly gates.

But the creative arts bring up old fears. I grew up discouraged and depressed, even into my thirties—feeling worthless and inadequate. Even now, in my fifties, after twenty successful professional years, as I move into a more creative phase, the old inadequacy anxieties come out of the closet to lounge on my couch. These days, they seem more like wispy holographs, but their voices are loud enough: "Are you really a writer and artist?"

Well, no, I’m not sure. But I am sure I am supposed to try. I’m sure I’m supposed to support my husband’s glass bead-making by designing his little artworks into necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. And, actually, in four years of selling our creations, we are more than paying for our supplies. We were juried into the our statewide artisan program. We very successfully sold our pieces at a high-quality art fair last weekend, amid many oohs and aahs.

The writing is coming along, too—it’s harder, but beginning to feel doable.

If we feel a pull towards the arts, we only know whether we’re good enough by doing and getting feedback. And we can trust Jesus to usher us into the creative places he has prepared for us.

Jesus, we long to feel adequate to the tasks you set before us. And yet, in our inadequacies, we learn to trust your power and love. So we submit to your process in our creativity. We trust your timing and we look for your encouragement.

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