How old do you feel?
When a psychotherapy client told me about a difficulty at work or at home, sometimes I would ask that question. Maybe she was complaining about how her husband or her boss treated her. Or he was reporting how humiliated he felt when he missed a putt playing golf with co-workers. If the event had caused so much distress that the client was discussing it in therapy, it usually was triggering an old unresolved pain.
Those pains reside in our younger selves. For instance, I carried an angry 12 year old on my back for a long time. I often got too angry at my daughter when she was young–way more than her misbehavior warranted. It took me a long time to figure out it was the old injustice done to me that was fueling my overreaction to her.
Identifying those feelings allowed me to consider what the 12 year old still needed–someone to validate her pain, someone to comfort her, someone to assure her of God’s justice. Then I could ask God for that nurturance. Asking ourselves how old we feel can show us where the old pain is. Then we can invite God into that old pain to work his healing.
Jesus, the next time we overreact, tell us how old we are. Then, come with your kind eyes and warm heart to heal those old pains.