Sow Five Positive Words

Here’s a self-compassion challenge: for every negative thought about our self or our behavior, write five positive sentences. Words that are true, kind, and hopeful.

A local newspaper columnist from the ’80s often referred to his wife as his “constant companion.” Since we are our own constant companion, let’s apply some marital research to our inner life. That’s where sowing positivity comes in.

Research shows that for every criticism, a healthy couple gives five affirmations. After twenty years of doing psychotherapy with individuals and observing my own emotional growth, I’ve learned healthy self-regard also balances out criticism with compliments.

If we’re already in a good relationship with ourselves, we instinctively think kind thoughts when we perform badly. We know sowing negativity doesn’t help. But if we’re just starting to learn a new skill, we need to make it a conscious process. Writing out sentences will help.

Here are some true, kind, and hopeful words that apply to all of us who desire to walk close to Jesus:

1. I am accepted in the Beloved. (Ephesians 1:6, KJV)

2. Jesus does not condemn me. (Romans 8:1)

3.  I can love myself just as I am because God does. (1 John 4:16)

4.  God is at work in me. I can rest in his work. (Philippians 2:13)

5. I am my Father’s project. He will finish what he has started. (Philippians 1:6)

Self-punishment is hard-packed clay in which nothing grows. Self-kindness is loam and compost and peat moss. Half the battle of growth is self-kindness. In that soil, change can germinate.

Jesus, let your word fertilize our soil. For your glory. Amen.