One Right Way?

Jerry and I do everything differently. That struck me recently, when I noticed the half a banana standing on the counter. If I eat a banana, I'll eat the whole thing. Even though we're both right-handed, he pulls the wax paper with his right hand, holding it with his left, while I do the opposite. And I wash dishes under running water, while he bathes them in a sink full of suds,

I don't know why it struck me so strongly in the last few months that our methods of doing everything differ. We've been married since we were children, practically, and now we're comforting each other in our aches and pains of early old age. It's like it just dawned on me.

Early in the marriage, I worked pretty hard to get Jerry to do things my way. I guess what's struck me now is how much I've given that quest up. And our differences add spice, not conflict, to our relationship.

But it sure is easy to think our way is the right way, isn't it? Am I the only one who wants everyone to see the value of my point of view?Talking with a friend the other day, we agreed, with laughter, that we each knew best–about practically everything. After all, hadn't we gathered lots of knowledge and wisdom in the last fifty years?

Ahhh. True wisdom is appreciating and celebrating differences. God loves differences, or we would be clones of Adam and Eve. How boring would that be?

Maybe this is obvious to you. But it's not obvious to those of us who grew up in families where there was one right way to do everything. Just so you know.

Papa, thanks for being a God who loves variety and difference.

One of Satan’s Finest

"Passout," "Blackout," "Space
Monkey," "Space Cowboy," "Knockout," "Gasp,"
"Rising Sun." These are all alternative names for the choking game,
which is no game. Kevin Tork, a 15 year student from a loving, intact family,
died a month ago from self-strangulation. Not a suicide, it was an attempt to
feel good that went fatally bad. Dr. Thomas Andrew, New
Hampshire’s chief medical examiner explains: 

“There are two parts to the
experience. The first is a light-headedness (a perceived "high") due
to reduced blood flow, and therefore reduced delivery of oxygen, to the brain.
The second part comes with the removal of pressure on the chest or neck
releasing a powerful surge of dammed up blood up through the carotid arteries
into the brain (a perceived "rush").”

And Kevin is not the only one. After seeing his father,
mother, and sister on NBC’s Today show this morning, I found reports of dozens of victims.

Though the game is not new, what’s new is children are
learning how to do it on youtube, they’re playing it alone, and they live in a
culture that glorifies feeling. Kevin’s dad, Ken, pleaded with parents this
morning to restrict access to youtube. Warnings were given of signs to look for
in your children because healthy, happy young people are playing the “game,” by themselves, in their rooms, with no one to rescue when the "rush" turns deadly.

Are our children taking to heart a dominant message of western
culture:  “If it feels good, do it”? That’s
an old phrase and the sentiment used to be balanced by other cultural values,
such as delayed gratification. Work first, play second. Get good grades now, expect
rewards later. Eat dessert last, if at all.

Emotional and spiritual health includes large measures
of pleasure, fun, and laughter, balanced with a long-term perspective, a
willingness to suffer for what’s right, and an understanding that feeling is
not the only motivation for behavior.

Satan has so saturated western culture
that our children are in danger of growing up believing emotion is the
final arbiter of action. The choking game looks like one of Satan’s finest
lies.

Sweet Jesus, expose the lies. Illuminate your truth. We need you.

Dead End?

Jerry and I love to roam back roads, looking for herons and other wildlife, enjoying God's creation. Sometimes, though, we'd get to the end of a little gravel road, at a creek or the end of a county. Even though there'd been no sign to warn us, we'd run right into a dead end. When DeLorme began publishing their series of backroads maps for each state, we delightedly snapped up Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, even Texas, when we vacationed there. Technology moved on and now we enjoy Microsoft's Streets and Trips with GPS on our laptop. We haven't run into any dead ends in years.

Not so, however, in life. So many times, we find ourselves moving right along, no sign to warn us, and we suddenly find ourselves in a spot that looks like the end of the road. Maybe you know the feeling. You've done everything you can for the teenager who insists on violating curfew to hang with friends who look like they're going nowhere. We feel trapped in a job and think we shouldn't feel that way. We ought to just be grateful to have work. Perhaps we and our spouse sleep in separate bedrooms, not just in order to sleep, but because the spark has died.

When Jerry and I encountered dead ends in the country, we backed up, turned around and tried a different road. We knew what the end of the road looked like. In life, sometimes, it's not so easy to tell. Is this situation really a dead end? Is there anything else I can do? And, most importantly, what does God have to say?

And, are there really any dead ends if Jesus is involved? Are we seeking hard after him for his solutions? Maybe there's a little path through that underbrush in front of us that we haven't seen yet. Maybe what looks like an end will, by grace, turn out to be a new beginning.

Sweet Jesus. Oh, to see our lives as you see them. Give us your eyes, your truth, your pathways.