I reached for the chocolate chip cookie, hot from the oven. Before
I knew it, I’d eaten six. 

I reached for the chocolate chip cookie, hot from the oven. I
thought, why am I reaching for sugar and fat? Before I knew it I’d eaten five. 

I reached for the warm chocolate chip cookie. I thought, Why
am I eating?  I sat at the kitchen table,
found paper and pen. I wrote, “I feel powerless because I can’t make my
daughter stop fighting her homework.” I ate three chocolate chip cookies. 

I reached for the day old cookie. Why? I feel powerless. “God,
you know how powerless I feel. You know my anxiety. Please help me trust you
for her future.” I ate one cookie. 

I stopped baking cookies.

 

At a conference recently, I left my red fleece jacket in the
van that several of us had driven. I didn’t expect to need it inside. What I
didn’t count on was riding in other vehicles to dinner, in the freezing Chicago cold. Then, another party gave me a ride to the hotel that night, so I froze
running into the lobby, too. When I got back to the conference site the next
day, I got a key for the van and looked for the jacket. I couldn’t find it
anywhere in the fifteen passenger van. Oh well. When I returned to the lobby, I
prayed with a young woman who needed God’s touch, went to the next session, and
didn’t think much about the loss of the jacket.

Later, I glanced at an area where our group, having slept at
the church, had piled their bedding from the night before. There was the
jacket! It was right there, in the lobby, all the time. They had brought it in
when they unloaded the vans yesterday. I could have enjoyed its warmth at
dinner last night, when I ran into the hotel at 10:30
p.m., and at lunch today. But I didn’t know it was available.

How often do we miss out on God’s provision because we give
up too easily? What did I think had happened to the jacket? Why didn’t I look
more carefully or ask someone? For one thing, I wasn’t that desperate. When we
are desperate, we look carefully, ask more questions, seek more diligently. But
even when children are going astray, when we need the basic necessities of
life, or when we need a friend, we may stop looking too soon. We may settle for
getting by. We need to keep on asking, keep on knocking, keep on seeking, so
that the door may be opened to us and we can enjoy the warmth God means to give
us. (Matthew 7:7) 

Jesus, you are our source. Don’t let us settle for less than
your provision.