When we are a child and someone sins against us—is mean to
us, takes liberties with our bodies, beats us up—we don’t always realize the
wrong. Adults, especially parents, define life’s parameters for a child. If dad
uses a razor strap on bare bottoms, we may not question that behavior. We may
see it as normal until we grow up, remove ourselves, and see it with more
objectivity. Then we realize the damage, even death, to parts of ourselves. In
the midst of that pain, Jesus commands forgiveness.

Last week, I said forgiveness is a decision. The first
decision of forgiveness is to say: “She
sinned.” Then we call the person to account. Sometimes literally; sometimes
only in our own minds. But know that God holds them accountable. Someone always
pays. Either they pay or Jesus pays.

We, of course, also pay. Jesus said to me once, “Your pain
will be compensated.” In many ways, the pain of my difficult childhood has been
greatly redeemed. In other ways, I’m still paying—still experiencing sin’s
death. But, days are coming, when all death will be swallowed up in the final victory.

Father, Thank you for objectivity
to hold others accountable. Thank you for the victory yet to come.

On a mental health crisis line many years ago, I was listening
to a woman who’s brother had been killed. She knew who the murderer was; he’d
gotten away with it; and this woman was furious. In fact, she, too, was
considering murder. She knew where this man had fled to, and was talking about
going after him.

She’d called because she couldn’t sleep at 2 am that morning and wanted someone to listen. I
held the receiver away from my ear, saying, yes, I understood why she was
angry…I’d be angry, too…and other understanding phrases.

After half an hour of listening to her increasing rage, I
said, “Maybe you might want to think about forgiving this guy.”

“Forgive? I’ll never forgive!”

I’ll never forget the anguish, rage, and sorrow of her cry.
Forgiveness of sin with life-changing consequences is the hardest decision I
know. And that is exactly what it is. A decision.
If we wait until we feel like
forgiving, we will wait forever.

We can say, “I forgive my father for his emotional
distance.” “I forgive my sister for her self-absorption.” “I forgive my
neighbor for his raucous, late parties.” The emotional battle is yet to be
fought, but the spiritual battle is done when we choose to forgive. God takes
us at our word and strikes out our sin of unforgiveness. If that woman did not
find the power to forgive, she, herself, is still paying the price for her rage. 

Jesus, only you give
the power to forgive. We need your enabling to release the people who have hurt
us deeply.