In the courtyard of the religious leaders, while they were looking for a way to have Jesus put to death, Peter, in fear for his life, three times denied knowing him. The scripture says in Matthew 26: 75 (NET) that when he realized he had fulfilled Jesus’ word, “Before the cock crows, you will deny me three times,” Peter went out and wept bitterly.

Previously, Peter had asserted that even if the others deserted Jesus, he would not—he would even die with Jesus. How Peter’s heart ached when he realized how far he missed his boastful mark.

We understand that pain, don’t we? We think we can tolerate, even love, a back-biting co-worker, but find ourselves gossiping about her. We imagine ourselves leading a new neighbor to the Lord, but can’t even stand seeing their back yard full of haphazardly stacked lumber. We want to love our spouse, but find ourselves quietly building a case against her.

We’re in trouble. We don’t realize how far we miss the mark. Jesus knows, however, and wants not only to expose, but to heal. After the ignobility of Peter’s heart was exposed, Jesus empowered him on the beach, after the resurrection, when he asked, “Do you love me?” “Do you love me?” Do you love me?”

Jesus, if you are exposing our sin, may we have eyes to see. If you are healing our hearts, may we find grace to receive.

In high school, were you the queen bee? Did you command a
group of girls who laughed at every witty observance you uttered? In your
school, did you start the fad for showing your belly button? Did everybody vote
for you?

Were you the big man on campus? When you walked down the
hallways, did nerdy boys get out of your way? If you wore purple, did everyone
wear purple? Did you collect titles: quarterback, captain, president?

Or were you one of the boys who knew how to find the square
of 4,539 but couldn’t find a date for prom? Maybe you were the girl who loved
Jane Eyre when everyone else loved George Michael.

As a psychotherapist, I often asked clients about their high
school experience. What they reported always told more than they said. Identities
we form in high school, accurate or not, are long lasting. Though it takes a
lifetime to become who we are, evaluating our high school sense of ourselves is
a fruitful step of self-knowledge. How we saw ourselves then may have had more
to do with how others saw us than who we are made to be.

Because our true identity rests on how Jesus sees us.
Without the pressure to be on top of the social structure or the weight of
being on the bottom, under Jesus’ direction, we can stretch into our own shape.
Maybe that shape is close to our high school identity. Maybe not. Only Jesus
knows the shape of our heart.

Jesus, draw us onto
your lap today. May we know ourselves afresh, in your arms.

In Exodus 4:3, God asks Moses to throw down his shepherd’s staff, whereupon the stick turns into a snake. Moses is terrified, the NLT says, and runs away. In the next verse, God asks Moses to take hold of the snake’s tail, which Moses does, and it becomes his staff again.

What happened between verse three and four? Terror had encompassed him. How did Moses turn from that intense fear to pick up that snake?

Did God follow Moses as he ran? If he did, what did he say?

Did God wait for Moses to gather his courage and return on his own? How far did Moses run?

How far do we run from obedience when what’s being asked of us feels terrifying? What allows us to face the fear? When God asks us to trust a man and all our experiences with men have been abusive. When God asks us to adopt a special needs child. When God says, "Let go of what is in your hand and let me make a miracle of it."

What allows us obey, after fleeing, is the hope that God is good, that he knows what he’s doing, and that his will is our wholeness. May we trust Him today!

Jesus, you are the model and enabler of trust. Be our faith today.