Look for my “That Thing We Do” feature in Marriage Partnership, due out early December in the Winter, 2006 issue. Published by Christianity Today International, this is a magazine to help us all have more intimate, fun, and powerful relationships with our spouses. The editor, Ginger Kolbaba, is a sharp, warm woman whose recent book, Happily Even After, is about success in second marriages.

I first met Ginger at the Writing for the Soul conference, the last time it was held in Ashville. Sitting at her table at lunch, I was excited when she used me as an example of what to do right as a beginning writer. She said, “You need to keep a notebook with you at all times, like this woman over here, has,” pointing at me as I was pulling out a small notebook, preparing to write down her answers to our questions at this working lunch. Her encouragement that I was doing something right kept me—a rank beginner—on the path, which is now resulting in publication!

Encouragement. We all need it. Often, it doesn’t take very much to be an encourager—a smile, a kind word, a small gift. But it keeps us going!

Father, thank you for past encouragement. Please give us what we need today.

How did Thanksgiving go at your house? Did you have lots of people in or did you go to someone else’s house where groups of people ate huge amounts at tables jammed in around sofas and potted plants? Or did you eat alone or at a community dinner? Some of us gathered in much smaller groups, even eating something different from the national roasted turkey.

It is the quintessential American holiday. Not specifically religious, it’s not divisive, but a means of connection with each other. As we pulled up last night to share dessert with our friends, we saw people gathered in the lighted window at their Indian neighbors. My Jewish friend extols its virtues. There’s nothing required but food and smiles.

For some, though, it is a time to give thanks to the God who is there. The God who spoke the universe into existence. To he who can create something out of nothing by the power of his voice. The God who longs to know us, whom he has made in his image. I am thankful for that desire.

Father, this Thanksgiving, we want to know your desire for us.

In my early twenties, chagrined by my messy house, I complained to my older friend, Phyllis:  “I’m just so lazy, I never get anything done.”  

With a soft face and a twinkle in her eye, Phyllis said, “You’re not lazy, you’re just unmotivated.” 

“Unmotivated”—that was a different story. Lazy felt like the color of my eyes—unchangeable. Unmotivated felt like a hairstyle. I could change a hairstyle, in fact, I often did. When Phyllis labeled me unmotivated rather than lazy, she handed me hope.

The label change gave me hope because “unmotivated” told the truth. Carrying great grief over childhood pain, I stumbled through my early adulthood, my energy given to carrying the burden.  As I let Jesus carry more of my burden, I found more energy to not only clean my house, but also to parent my child, love my husband and succeed in graduate school. 

Phyllis was right; I was not lazy, I was grieving. Grief takes energy.

How about you?  Maybe you’re unmotivated, too.  Even though you’re in good health, your energy is low.  Lazy isn’t the word.  Burdened, weary, grieving, maybe, but not lazy.  Let’s be careful how we label ourselves.

Jesus, when we feel unmotivated, we label ourselves lazy. When we feel weak, we label ourselves unimportant. When we feel unworthy, we label ourselves worthless. Teach us today your labels for us; labels full of your truth and your love.