Many of us grew up with “not enough.” Not enough lap space, not enough hugs, not enough attention. That has long term consequences. For some of us, it gets internalized into, “I’m not enough.” I don’t have enough to give to anyone else. Nobody wants to hear my thoughts. Nobody’s interested.
Or we believe we will never have enough for ourselves. Nobody will empathize. No one has lap space for me. I’ll never get the attention I need.
Some of us keep seeking emotional nurture, hoping against hope that we’re wrong. Some of us give up seeking, believing we’re right.
If we know the Lord, we believe, at least intellectually, that he always gives us enough. But our emotional self keeps straying to the old paths.
What keeps us on God’s path? What does it take to let God into our hearts so deeply that he becomes “enough?” When challenged, we stumble over to the “not enough” place. “I’m not enough.” Or, “God won’t give me enough to break down the wall in this path.”
We want to skip down God’s walkway. Sometimes it’s not even a wall, but the tiniest root we stumble on. Dazed, we tumble into the ditch. Lying in the mud, we finally look up. Into the gleaming face of the Father.
Duh. When did we let go of that hand? It doesn’t matter. He’s smiling as he kneels down to lift us up.
Father, it is the grip of your hand and the smile on your face that brings us back to your all-sufficient path.