I Am Convinced

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38,39.

angel Pictures, Images and PhotosNeither the death of a spouse, nor the life of an abuser, neither an angel sent from God nor a demon sent from Lucifer, neither the dollars I’ve invested with little return nor the possibility of speaking to thousands, neither flying at 38,000 feet or diving to the ocean depths, nor any other aspect of life on earth–neither disappointments nor joys–will be able to separate me from the love of Papa-God expressed in Jesus, the God-Man, who is Lord of all.

Fill in your own blanks. On the awful side–chronic illness, death of a child, sexual abuse, etc. On the wonderful side–a new marriage, a healthy child, a cure for your cancer…

Nothing can separate us. Nothing. Not one thing that we endure or rejoice in can separate us from God’s love.

Father, we want a fresh awareness of your deep commitment to us. Beyond all our disappointments and joys, we want to rest in you. Amen. Glory. Hallelujah.

How Old?

How old do you feel?

When a psychotherapy client told me about a difficulty at work or at home, sometimes I would ask that question.

Maybe she was complaining about how her husband or her boss treated her. Or he was reporting how humiliated he felt when he missed a putt playing golf with co-workers. If the event caused so much distress that the client was discussing it in therapy, it usually was triggering an unresolved childhood injustice.

Those pains reside in our still-active younger selves. For instance, I carried an angry 12 year old on my back for a long time. When my daughter was young, I often got too angry at her–way more than her misbehavior warranted. It took me a long time to grasp that it was the injustice of my own childhood abuse that fueled my overreaction.

That 12 year old still needed someone to validate her pain, someone to comfort her, someone to assure her of God’s justice.  With that understanding, I could ask God for nurture.

Asking ourselves how old we feel can show us where the old pain is. Then we can invite God into that old pain to work his healing.

Jesus, the next time we overreact, tell us how old we are. Then, come with your kind eyes and warm heart to heal those old pains.

No Favorites

Have you ever wondered if God likes you as much as he likes Billy Graham or Francis Chan or Loren Cunningham? Those men or women to whom he’s given great responsibilities? In Galatians 2:6, Paul notes how the leaders at Jerusalem added nothing to his preaching, ending with:  (By the way, their reputation as great leaders made no difference to me, for God has no favorites.) NLT

Really? He doesn’t like Joyce Meyer better than me? He doesn’t appreciate Mary DeMuth’s contribution more than mine? He doesn’t like the pastor’s ministry more than the nursery worker’s?

Am I the only one, who in some primitive part of myself, thinks others with more public ministries get more of God’s attention? Sure, I know that’s not true…theoretically, intellectually, cognitively…however you want to specify the adult part of me. God is not partial. He loves everyone the same. The most ordinary are as valuable as the most extraordinary.

I long for Paul’s extraordinary confidence in his specific calling to preach the good news to the Gentiles. Sure of his appointment, Paul wasted no time comparing himself to anyone else, nor was he intimidated by anyone else’s work. He knew God valued him and had called him individually.

I want to be that sure of the call of God on my life. And that clear that I am as important as anyone else. I know that, in my head. I’d like to feel it, all the time, in my heart. That I still wrestle with value, at almost sixty years old, says so much about the impact of childhood emotional neglect…of not being valued.

Maybe one or two of you understand. Pray with me: Lord Jesus, make it emotionally real to us that we are immensely valuable to you. Refresh our hearts with your love and power. We want to be done with any sliver of self-rejection and full of confidence in your work in our hearts. For your glory, Amen.