How old do you feel?
When a psychotherapy client told me about a difficulty at work or at home, sometimes I would ask that question.
Maybe she was complaining about how her husband or her boss treated her. Or he was reporting how humiliated he felt when he missed a putt playing golf with co-workers. If the event caused so much distress that the client was discussing it in therapy, it usually was triggering an unresolved childhood injustice.
Those pains reside in our still-active younger selves. For instance, I carried an angry 12 year old on my back for a long time. When my daughter was young, I often got too angry at her–way more than her misbehavior warranted. It took me a long time to grasp that it was the injustice of my own childhood abuse that fueled my overreaction.
That 12 year old still needed someone to validate her pain, someone to comfort her, someone to assure her of God’s justice. With that understanding, I could ask God for nurture.
Asking ourselves how old we feel can show us where the old pain is. Then we can invite God into that old pain to work his healing.
Jesus, the next time we overreact, tell us how old we are. Then, come with your kind eyes and warm heart to heal those old pains.