Forgiveness begins with, “What is the sin?” That is what God calls us to forgive. We start with identifying the thoughts/words/actions that convey indifference to needs. In its broadest sense, sin is that which is not love–not in our own or someone else’s best interests.
Some of these happened to some of us. We need to ask the question:
Was it sin for my mother to leave me to take care of three younger siblings when she went out at night and I was ten years old?
Was it sin for my father to take me to the bars with him when I was twelve?
Was it sin for my brother to come to my room at night?
Was it sin for my spouse to divorce me?
Was it sin to scream at my daughter?
Is it sin when I damage my health through my own choices?
Is it a sin to be tired?
Is it sin to say “no?”
Fill in your own blanks: Â Was/is it sin to ______________.
Defining sin can be confusing. Â Identifying the sin we’ve done to ourselves or others have done to us can take months to years. Beyond even the difficulty of definition, a lot else gets in the way. Loyalty to family, denial, lack of self-awareness, stuffed feelings–all these can contribute to our blindness.
We need to see what Jesus sees. We can ask him to name the sin we have done to ourselves and the sin done against us.
We can’t forgive a sin we haven’t named. That’s step one of the process of forgiveness.
Jesus, name our sin and the sin against us. Help us be willing to forgive ourselves and others.